A little feedback?
4mo
John Aycock
Would like to know your thoughts about this recent composition.
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Felix Zenz
I agree with what Mengu Gungor and Izak van Langevelde said about the focal area and I think I would go even more dramatic. You have a great robot design and a really cool story, if you add more darkness on the surroundings, you will not only draw the focus closer to the protagonists, you will also create a very nice experience for the viewers as they discover all the elements in the dark and the story unfolds. This is a really fast edit, but I think, it brings the mood across.
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Mengu Gungor
I think this is lovely. I agree with the other commenters, we want a bit more attention to the main subjects. I (perhaps a bit crudely) darkened the surrounding, and brightened the focus area. You probably don't have to go as far, but you can merge some of the shapes into the background, like that black train in front was drawing a lot of attention. Also your reflected lights are perhaps a bit too strong, they don't have to be that strong to still read well and define your forms, so I toned them down a bit. And I sharpened some edges in the areas we want the viewer to look at. You can definitely spend more time to do it all better. I absolutely love the story telling you have here.
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John Aycock
I really agree. It really adds much more focus to the subject and even seems to enhance the feeling of solitude in a dark room. Thanks for the feedback!
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Yiming Wu
I think composition wise, maybe the light/dark shape area isn't as clear, so you need to do some mental logistics to get the structure there. Otherwise pretty okay I think.
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Izak van Langevelde
I like it! I suggest you emphasize the main act of this composition, i.e. the robot-like character studying the doll head, by making everything else support this act, subduing whatever conflicts. For instance, Pinocchio's head in the top left is really nice, but it draws away my attention from the main act.
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Crystal Gillis
I actually love this piece and am hoping the main character is your original character. Sure the values/lighting could be changed, however this is the type of drawing that would be in a special gift book or print for a special wall, not just a regular old kids picture book. Beautiful technical skill. I agree more with what Izak has said. I know that including well-known characters will immediately capture an audience because of the familiarity and make it memorable, but it's stealing your spotlight. As an artist when I'm creating (copyright issues aside) I would rather my time go to my own unique memorable characters (ie your own very different version of Pinocchio, Raggedy Ann-since these types of toys were common kids toys at one time before corporate hijacked them- but something never seen before would be even better) I also seek this out when looking at art and illustrations. Like I said, I love your work and the idea, I'm only trying to help:) I'm not nearly as accomplished as you. Please keep at it, I see great things:)
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