The perspective is tricky here, but the most important thing to remember that the clavicle and the scapula are connected, the shoulder bones work as a whole, I made a quick overdraw. They're mostly like a bicycle handle, so the scapula is somehow parallel to the clavicle.

Hey Joseph, the bottom one looks mostly correct. I think you would just need to lower the top plane so its not in the neck. More of a straight line from the shoulder to bring it across the back.