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3yr
Palmer Vaughn
Comic based on conversations I overhear in coffee shops
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Ronnie Jarrard
Okay, first thing is the text is hard to read AND it's hand-written unlike the title. There's a typo in panel one as well. The second issue I find is you were willing to shade the inside of their mouths and cups, but nothing else. I tweaked your image--changed all the dialogue from hand writing to...computer text(?) for clarity and consistency and then added just simple values to help separate the characters from the backgrounds and each other. Really easy fixes to help make the comic pop and are things anyone can do. I like your art style. It makes me think of older animes. I also always like these types of comics. People say some really goofy stuff in public.
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Palmer Vaughn
Can I ask what font you used?
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Palmer Vaughn
Thank you, I struggle with values. I'm trying to improve and your advice clearly makes a big difference.
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Steve Lenze
Hey Palmer, Every figure in this comic is basically the same size, in the same part of the frame, doing the same things. You need to vary the sizes, shots, body language, and figure sizes to make this more interesting. In the storyboard world we call this "talking heads". In order to make it interesting we look for "business" that the characters can be doing while talking. Example: The guy listening can be putting cream and sugar in his coffee. You could cut to a close up of the coffee cup as he stirs it. There are all kinds of things you could do. I hope this is helpful :)
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Palmer Vaughn
Thank you, that's very helpful!
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@sonami
In general the comic seems pretty decent, what I would fix in general is the proportions for hands and the arms they seem a bit stretched at certain points so that they could fit the panel, also I think in terms of perspective it would be better to show differing perspectives of each character talking or have them take up the panel in ways that characterize the conversation so that even when you squint or look from far away you are able to tell which character is speaking and what emotion they are conveying. I think the best panel in your comic that helps portray this is the second one or top right panel, the composition looks really nice on that one.
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Palmer Vaughn
Greatly appreciated! This is exactly what I'm looking for.
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Dominik Zeillinger
Hi @Palmer Vaughn, which feedback are you looking for? Drawings, story, storytelling?
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