Oh man I can relate to all of that. I only just got back into art. I began to hate it. I quit for about 4 years. when I moved I didn’t tell people I was an artist and when people did find out, I said I was retired. Then I started modeling for a well known art college and everything’s changed. I am so inspired and reinvigorated, I am freaking out, I love it so much. I thought I was a pretty seasoned artist but now feel like I’m just beginning. Getting to hear the lectures, critiques, being in an artist environment and community has reawakened me. They appreciate the models, I never understood it before. I feel like I’m contributing to the next generation of talent. None of this is probably helpful to you, but I just really understand what you are going through. Seeing art through being a model has changed my perspective. That’s how I moved through it. Not sure what would work for others like yourself. Glad you asked though, maybe some fresh ideas will come out of it.