Hello everyone the reason I made this comic is because where i live artist do not get respect and when you tell them that you want to be an artist they make fun of you. I am seeking feedback on *Perspective *Storytelling *Figure drawing
Hey, @Anubhav Saini! Thanks for your patience in expecting my delayed reply! I think it’s cool that you chose a comic story as a means to express your indignation. Indeed, it’s upsetting that some people still misjudge the importance of art and the legitimacy of an artist’s work. The good news (in which, at least, I believe) is that humankind’s will to make art should always have room to exist in the world somehow, despite any disbeliefs or negative judgements that may emerge. Overall, I agree with @Steve Lenze about the mixture of shots - I think the variety in viewpoints and the sequence they are put in is giving your story a good visual dynamism. I understand that delivering the message “art matters” is the main point of this double-page, so in general, I think it’s okay to overlook a little bit some technical issues such as accuracy in perspective and figure drawing - since the message is clear enough, it’s fine if things aren’t “perfect”. With this in mind, below are a few comments for each specific panel. They concern, mainly, clarity in storytelling, composition and overall artistic quality. Please receive these comments as suggestions based on my personal point of view, not as “corrections” that you necessarily have to make - although feel free to incorporate anything that makes sense to you, of course. Also, feel free to discard or adapt any of my suggestions according to your own creative preferences. (I’m attaching a draw-over with numbers for you to easier reference my comments to each panel). . Panel 1 - I think this panel doesn’t seem to add much to the storytelling, so I think I’d remove it. . Panel 2 - The setting and the characters look fine to me. I’d polish a bit more the lines and shape of the speech bubble. Also, I’d look out more carefully for correct punctuation and capital letters in the sentences, since writing issues could definitely hurt the storytelling in comics. . Panel 3 - Same comments as in Panel 2. . Panel 4 - I think this panel fits well into the story. . Panel 5 - I’d say the environment could be a bit more visually descriptive - at least to me, it looks a bit unclear whether this is a street in a little town, the living room of a big house, the halls of a hostel or something else. Plus, I’m a bit unsure about how this panel fits into the story to connect the previous and the next scenes. Here’s what I understood: he gets angry at his friend and storms out of the room; then, in the next page, he goes to another location to talk to another friend - is that it? Well, if so, then maybe Panel 5 (which is the inbetween moment where he’s alone) could be an interesting point in the story to develop a bit of his introspective thoughts and draw how these thoughts would reflect on his body language, on the environment or on his internal dialogue. For example: maybe he’s walking with his head down and face frowned - so you can plan your composition for this panel in a way that these aspects can be clearly shown; or maybe there’s pouring rain as a symbolism for his anger and sadness; or maybe he’s mulling over his feelings and his friend’s words - then, instead of having just one panel for this introspective moment, you could develop this part of the story into several panels, exploring variety in thought bubbles, facial expressions and perspectives in each one. . Panel 6 - This panel doesn’t seem to add much to the story, so I’d say it would be fine to take it out. . Panels 7 and 8 - Same comments as in Panel 2. . Panel 9 - Same comments as in Panel 4. . Panel 10 - I think it could be nice to show the character walking into this new environment (instead of showing just the environment). The story is understandable even without the character, but I just think that adding him in the scene would create a stronger visual link with the previous panels and better conduct the reader to follow the character through his journey. Also, I’d recommend adding some more texture to the street in order to make the drawing look more complete. . Panel 11 - I understand that your intention is to show the character suffering, but I think it’s so sad that the story ends just with him crying and mulling over his feelings... Wouldn’t it be interesting to focus on him somehow overcoming the criticisms instead? For example: maybe, after leaving his second friend’s house, he goes for a walk in the park and decides to just start sketching the people and the nature around him; this invigorates his energy, and he enjoys the experience so much that he comes back the next day, and the next… and, after a few years, he’s improved his skills so much that he became an accomplished artist ready to make his first solo show, to which he invites his friends (who he hadn’t seen in a while); and when his friends meet him, they look surprised at how he evolved and congratulate him for his accomplishments with his art. This is just one possibility for your story, and a very simple one - of course, there might be other creative choices you could make. But my point, as a suggestion for this ending, is just to consider developing the storytelling in a way that carries the same message (“art is important”, “being an artist is possible”…), but in a more positive and engaging way for your comics’ reader. Hope this helps! There’s a great book named “Understand Comics”, by Scott McCloud, which unravels the main aspects and storytelling techniques in the language of comics - if you’ve never read it, I’d highly recommend! It’s fully written in the format of a graphic novel, so reading it is a true delight. Best of luck with your art!
Thank you very much for your valuable feedback and yeah in next page he was going to a different location
Hey Anubhav, sorry, I’m in the process of moving and I don’t have access to my computer right now. I will say you have a good mixture of shots and your characters emotions are apparent in not just their facial expressions but also their body language. There are some perspective, and composition things you could improve on, but that would be easier for me to show you in a draw over… which I can’t do right now, sorry. Give me some time and I’ll get to it.