Nice feeling of light and shadow, and they definitely have presence. The one thing that I noticed that may be throwing things off is the mouth in relation to the other features. Notice in the photo that because the head is not straight on we are seeing much more of the right side (as we look at it) of the head than the left. Same should apply to features. E.g. If you look at your mouth from centre to corners, both sides are almost the same width, giving the illusion that the mouth is almost straight on, yet the rest of the head is looking to the side. You can also see this by the fact the corner of the mouth on the right as we look at it, should line up vertically with the centre of the eye; whereas yours lines up vertically with inside corner. Very simply if you pull the corner of the mouth over more you are lengthening the one side and it will sit more naturally with the other features - it is amazing how the smallest little piece of the puzzle can make difference. Another couple of minor points is that here forehead (covered by hair) feels a little more upright than yours, and the point where the neck meets the chest lines up vertically with the centre of the the eye (right side as we look), whereas yours is more lined up with inside corner. It's just making the neck a touch broad - again minor points as it seems like you are well on the right track! Hope that helps!