Laura T
added a new topic3yr
Hi All!
I've been developing a storyline in my head for a couple of years now... It doesn't seem to end, or leave me alone for that matter, so I better start scratching it onto paper! I've had the dream of drawing comics for a while now. I've used many online sources and books trying to gather information about the process and such, as well as about "how to draw" in itself. So here goes. These are the first three pages, done by hand.
As I'm learning by doing, the idea is to do from start to finish a couple of pages at a time. This way I get to iterate the whole process several times and take pauses to analyse my way of working and what needs to be learned still. This also probably makes the first and last pages look completely different, but as this is merely for my own learning (and pleasure), that's alright.
Things I already know I need to improve:
- more dynamic angles -> more thumbnailing
- less messy mid tones
- the second panel of the third page annoys me: it's the only panel where something actually happens, so why did I draw it so small?? :)
- the penmanship sucks. I've yet to decide, whether to rehearse writing by hand or add the texts digitally later on.
All in all, I'm proud I've come this far. I'm not going to redraw these pages right now, but move on. Any comments, critique and observations on what to improve in general (or regarding some particular panel / detail / etc) are very welcome. The photos are of poor quality, sorry about that.
3yr
The one thing I think this is lacking is page flow. The Idea that you should arrange panels in a specific order that mimics the way we read text.
The panels' order should be left to right, top to bottom (like the attached image). If you want more practical examples, google "comic page flow" and if you want to go more in-depth, Scott McCloud's Making Comics has a good chapter covering the topic.
Laura T
3yr
On thing to improve the existing panel arrangement flow wise, would be to move the title ("misfire") to upper left corner or up and middle. When it's on the low left corner, it makes the reader start there and it's difficult to jump to panel 1 without going through panel 4 (the first slanted one). Another minor detail in panel.... oh wait. This is just what @mouseclicker meant: I confused panel 5 for panel 4. Anyway. The "dropping" has movement lines both upwards and downwards, but since it's moving supposedly only downwards the lines under it are unnecessary.
But other than that, I like how you've drawn the bird and the wings in different positions with consistency.
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3yr
Nice work @Itti Wang ! One thing that catches my eye, is her right forearm, which seem more 2D than the rest of the figure. Perhaps try adding some shadows and sculpt the edges a bit? Have a nice day!
3yr
Great page! Spotted many clever lines guiding the eye through the page. You conway the setup of the (assumed) story with these two panels well and with rich detail.
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